Death and Aspect

Sometimes you just don't know which way to fall. For instance, last week, I went to check my mother out of the cardiac wing of the local hospital, and showed up with an Egg McMuffin in one hand and a copy of Piers Anthony's On a Pale Horse in the other. There is a part of me that would love to take credit for the near-literal gallows humor. Another part of me understands how contrived it would've been if I'd done it on purpose. The truth is that, being nearly out of both money and attention span, I had to find a way to fill both my body and my mind quickly and cheaply. McDonald's provided one solution and my roommate's bookshelf provided the other. Given the discussion that follows, I ought to chalk it up to Fate. But she's another book.

Pale Horse, if it's not obvious from the title, deals with Death. Specifically, it deals with the man who assumed the office of Death upon the demise of the previous officeholder. Zane, the new officeholder, is not what you'd call a confidence-insipring kind of guy. He's a complete loser-- the kind of low-grade nobody you don't even bother to warn your girlfriends about, because no one would be likely to notice him in the first place. By about the second or third chapter of the book, he has already cursed his mother, gambled away his inheritance, catalyzed the death of a former girlfriend, and squandered his best chance at love and fortune for an enchanted stone that finds loose change. He tries to commit suicide and can't even do that right; instead, he kills Death and is forced to assume the position. The pun is somewhat intended-- it turns out that he was manipulated at every turn by the other Incarnations in order to bring about his situation, and it's not too long before the Devil gets him over a barrel.

How Zane prevails, however-- that's a thing of great beauty. And it's almost impossible to describe accurately without either spoiling the plot or reducing the whole thing to a cliche. Suffice it to say that when he finally crosses the line between performance and ownership, he gains a level of mastery that even the Devil himself can't break. He does it by fully manifesting his aspect.

Aspect is one of those things that we know when we see it; and on some level a lot of us want it for ourselves, even if we can't describe it. We tangle our tongues around approximations like "honor" or "devotion", or we struggle to assimilate nebuluous self-help phrases like "creating your own reality" or "living into your bliss". But aspect is more than these, in the same way that a triangle is more than a pyramid; it's a whole different order of being. Aspect is the quality that turns soldiers into heroes and believers into saints. Those on the outside are astonished that such actions and such presence can come from an ordinary human being. Those on the inside usually don't understand what all the fuss is about.

For us, there is good news and bad news in this. The good news is that everyone has the potential to realize aspect. The bad news is that most of us go about it entirely the wrong way. We search fervently for the path to wisdom, or we demand that rocks move when we butt our heads against them, or we go through our same dull routines day after day and wait for a flash of brilliance to strike down like lightning from heaven and tranform us. It's not entirely correct to say that these things don't work; it's more that they don't work in the way we want them to. These are more likely to develop in us the aspects of "seeker" or "hardheaded" or "waiting", not whatever it is we're actually searching or fighting or waiting for. For those of us who have ever raged at being told "you're trying too hard,"-- and that would include me--this seems to be what those other people are really trying to say.

As Death himself discovers in that great little book, the determining factor of aspect is intuitive, not linear. There simply is not an absolute road map to get us there from here. However, there are a few key points that will give us a better feel for the road.

First, we need to understand what aspect is. It is that domain in which we are sovereign-- and at the same time, it's the sovereignty we exercise over that domain. It's more than just mastery. It's the point where mastery and identity merge almost inseparably to become something greater than the sum of their parts.

Second, we need to understand what aspect is not. It's not glory or fame or renown; it's not necessarily about smoking the competition or keeping our edge. It depends entirely on us, not on others. That means that we don't have to wait for official kudos before we claim the title for ourselves. It also means that all the kudos in the world cannot grant us aspect.

Third, we need to be willing to start small and accept the transformation as we go. Aspect generally starts from some more familiar quality which may or may not bear any resemblance to the full manifestation.

Fourth, we need to hone our discretionary skills-- qualities like good judgment, perspective, and honesty. They may not help us with the actual intuitive leaps, but they will help us recognize the correct jumping-off points when we get to them.

Although we all have the potential for it, fully realized aspect is rare, for a number of reasons. Some people don't see the need to delve more deeply into areas of their lives that already seem to be functioning well. Others get to the edge of their understanding and turn back, unable to make the leap. Still others are unwilling to transform their lives that far, or to accept the greater responsibilities that flow from aspect. And some people manage to travel a fair distance along the road without ever quite understanding the significance of it. Those who do fully realize their aspect, however, can change the world just by doing as their nature demands.

I'll admit it-- I definitely want to be one of those people. If you do too-- or even if you just want to read more of my observations on the subject-- please see the next blog entry. And so I look forward. To what, I don't always know, but definitely forward.